It isn’t unusual to feel a little bit shy around a new person, especially when you’re caught up in first date jitters. But if you can’t get over being shy around guys it could cost you a relationship. Here are some tips on how to avoid letting shyness ruin a date.
- Make Yourself Comfortable
Ever feel uncomfortable on a date because you just don’t like where your date took you? If you really want to relax on a date, take control of the plans. If you think about it, in most pre-date planning your date will ask you what you want to do. That is your opening. Suggest going out someplace that you know and love. If you pick something like your favorite park or a restaurant whose menu you have memorized you limit the chances that you’ll have to worry about being someplace unfamiliar.
- Body Signals
Your body sends out messages, messages that can be picked up on. When you’re in an uncomfortable date situation, that shows. Even if you do your best to force yourself out of your shell, your body will tell your date another story. When your date picks up on this—either consciously or unconsciously—by pulling away from you. Things seem to take a wrong turn, and you thought you were doing so well.
But a few adjustments to your posture can hide your discomfort without making you look defensive. Eye contact is important to show that you’re not trying to hide from your date. Sitting up straight shows that you aren’t trying to slink away and be unseen. Fidgeting is another give away body sign to avoid—and that includes not checking your phone for updates! There’s no better way to show someone you’re trying to avoid.
- Talk the Talk
Conversations can be hard for shy people. Once you let an awkward pause keep a conversation from going, it’s hard to recover. If this happens and you’re shy, you’ll feel even more on the spot than you did when the date began. In short, a total disaster.
Don’t let words escape you. Make sure that you get more creative with your responses. You can get a lot more mileage out of what people are saying if you listen more closely to what they say and then pick up where they leave off. When asked a question, try adding more details to your response than just giving answer. Also, make sure to pose the same question to your date after you answer. For instance, if your date asks what type of food you like you can answer like this: “I love pizza and have convinced myself that it’s okay to eat because it has all the food groups in it. Cheese is dairy, sauce is a vegetable, pepperoni is meat, crust is a carb…What about you?”
To find out more ways to keep your shyness from ruining a date, click here.