4 Ways to Tell If He’s the One for You


frogThat feeling you have whenever you think about your boyfriend or when he walks in the door? You think it means you have found “The One.” How exactly can you tell if you’re right? More importantly, how can you tell that the two of you really are a good match? Here are four of the signs to tell if the guy you’re with now should be the guy you’re with forever.

Looks – It seems totally superficial, but there is going to be a time when you have to be honest: do you find this guy attractive? Can you see yourself living with him for the rest of your life? If you were just tolerating him while you were dating, you may want to get serious about what you really want before you take the next step. When it comes down to things that he can change—if this guy is not meeting your standards of personal hygiene, healthy weight, decent dress—you may want to have a conversation with him about your concerns before you decide it’s time for a commitment.

Shared Beliefs – It’s more than just your religious backgrounds. Do the two of you have the same ideas about life, how to live, financial goals and philosophies, and feelings about humanity. If your guy has beliefs that you just can’t get behind, there’s a serious problem with your relationship. It may be okay now, but eventually you won’t be able to feel comfortable living with someone who doesn’t share the same basic outlook on life as you. There’s always a chance that you could change, but that’s a big risk to take. If the two of you do share all of the same ideas about the world, go for it!

Emotional Maturity – Not everyone is on the same level of emotional maturity. The interpersonal skills that you have that help you deal with getting hurt or feeling happy are developed from childhood: both you and your boyfriend have emotional intelligences that probably aren’t going to change at this point. If you fight a lot it could mean one or both of you are not very emotionally mature. If it bothers you that he is not empathic, feeling, able to compromise, or control his temper you need to think twice before you decide you want to spend a lifetime with someone who is emotionally stunted.

Intelligence – This is going to be different for everyone, depending on how judgmental you are. Sometimes women date dumb guys and can still be perfectly happy. Sometimes they can’t stand how stupid he is. Let’s even consider that he might be the one with the brains in the relationship. If the difference between your SAT scores is something that makes either of you unhappy, then it’s probably not a good idea to move forward with him. If the two of you are happy with who you are, whether you can go toe-to-toe on Sunday crossword, or if you have to remind him of his family member’s names, you may have found the one.

If you want to learn more about what men secretly want, but they could never tell you, and how to get them to commit, click here.

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