We’ve all been in the situation a countless number of times: you’re at a bar or a party, chatting with a totally desirable guy. Everything seems to be going well, he’s bought you a drink, asked you clever questions, flirted and then, POOF – he disappears. Alternatively, whatever happened to that guy who was chatting you up on your dating site of choice and then vanished into thin air? Here are a few tips on how to keep a man interested during the crucial beginning period and better your odds of a first or second date.
1. Eye contact
A tip as important for men as it is for women – always make eye contact during a conversation. Don’t be zombie-like, constantly staring into his eyes, but rather, every so often, show that you are listening and genuinely interested by letting your gaze linger on his for a few extra seconds. If you haven’t started talking yet, locking eyes from across the room will send the message that you’re interested.
2. Boobs in, skirt down
Looking seductive and/or sexy isn’t a bad thing, but there’s a limit. Don’t overdo the outfit of a sexy dress and high heels by letting your chest take over. When you find your date staring at your chest more than your face, you’ll have nobody to blame but yourself. A lot of women mistakenly believe that letting it all hang out, like roast ducks at a Chinese restaurant, will get a guy to show interest. But a too-sexy look on a first or second date might just be sending the wrong message, unless you want the attention of womanizers and a string of one-night-stands. Nobody is telling you to dress like Mother Theresa; sometimes, though, the key to seduction is about what we DON’T see and not what we do.
3. Mind over matter
Don’t be afraid to show a man that you’re smart! Guys with any substance are looking for a girl whose brain can hold his attention as much as her figure. Make clever comments but beware of too much sarcasm.
4. Cheer up
It doesn’t matter that you’ve been standing at the bar alone for a while, or that you’re ridiculously bored at your friend’s engagement party – don’t let it show! Negativity can be seen on your face and smelled from a mile away. If you want a guy to approach you, make sure you have a happy expression of your face and are generally exuding a positive vibe. A guy is much more likely to come over when you seem approachable.
5. Talk with your body
Start to pay attention to how your body moves. Often, when we are in stressful or nervous situations, like flirting, our body portrays those feelings; we no longer look relaxed. Avoid extremes: don’t fling your legs open but also don’t sit with crossed arms and legs all night, a physical expression akin to “Hi, I’m repulsed by you.”
6. Confidence is king
Perhaps it’s easier said than done, but developing a confident state of mind is the best thing you can do for yourself. When you possess confidence, it shows. Try and portray your knowledge of your value with your carriage, posture, eye contact, hand shake, etc. People with a lot of confidence are contagious and make others want to be around them.
7. Today is everything
Stop hesitating! If you’re debating whether to go out with girls or join the pottery class in your neighborhood – do it! In addition, don’t be afraid to take the spotlight in public situations. Lastly, don’t be afraid to say hi to a guy you simply can’t leave the party without talking to. Better to try and fail than to never know what could’ve been. You never know where your good luck will find you.
8. Drink responsibly
There is almost nothing less attractive than a woman who is sloppy drunk, even if she’s a top model. Being overly drunk in public can send a whole bunch of bad messages about a person, none of which will attract a man unless he’s the kind of guy who has contemplated dropping date rape drugs in ladies’ drinks.
9. Get to the point
Don’t feel like you always have to wait for a guy to take or offer the next step. Are you having an amazing time on the date? Go ahead and hint that you’d be happy to get together again. The frankness and courage might be very refreshing. Men also like to get positive feedback, and taking the first step is one of the ways to do that. Whatever the result, you can be proud that you made the effort.
10. Take a chill pill
Try to genuinely have a good time, wherever you are. If you are filled with good energy, it will be apparent and send all the right signals. Be yourself and don’t mislead anyone about your intentions and self.